This time last year, I remember I was sitting in my New York apartment.... and I was hating it. My career was in full forward momentum and I needed to be in the city right up until Christmas. I had everything I needed except for one big problem. I was REALLY lonely. New York City can be a really lonely place despite how many people live there-especially around the holidays. Seeing all the happy couples at the Rockefeller Center ice skating and buying Christmas trees together made me feel worse. The earliest I could get home to Minnesota was Christmas morning. My best friend Aimee flew out and stayed with me for a few days the week before Christmas which helped me feel better for the time she was there. The day she left, I felt even more depressed and alone than before. I spent Christmas Eve at a church in Union Square all by myself and just wanted it to be over. I cried. I missed my father. That was not fun. I was the Scrooge- depressed and angry.
This wasn't the only time I have felt lonely. I would say that one of the hardest parts of my job (and most models will agree) is feeling lonely. When you're moving around so much, it's hard to even know what a stable home feels like. I call hotels my "home". And just as fast as I make new and close friends, I know I have to say good-bye to them for an indefinite amount of time. While it is a fantastic job to get paid to travel and stay at some of the most beautiful places on earth, the beauty of those places is slightly diminished without someone to share those memories with. Lets face it, having a glass of wine and watching a spectacular sunset isn't the same when you're doing it all by yourself repeatedly! Sharing it on Facebook helps, sure. But still, at the end of the day, I know I am lucky to have a fun and amazing job and I am in no way complaining about my sacrifices I make for it. I wouldn't do this if I didn't think the rewards would outweigh the sacrifices.
Even though I was lonely on Christmas Eve last year, a situation occurred that morning which suddenly made me stop feeling so bad for myself. There was a homeless man sitting on the cold sidewalk outside my NY apartment who was holding a sign that said "Alone and have no family. Cold and hungry." It was almost like a sign (no pun intended) meant for me to see. It was a humbling moment for me. I was fully experiencing the alone part , but at least I did have a family and I definitely wasn't cold and hungry! I couldn't fix the "alone" part for him, but could help with the "cold and hungry" part and bought him hot breakfast and coffee immediately. Then I thought of the hundreds of other homeless people that were like him. That very moment I stopped feeling bad for myself. This was when I realized I should spend my Christmas Eve helping the less fortunate.
I am humbled by many others who have felt a greater amount of loneliness and sacrifice around the holidays- specifically those who have served our country and couldn't be home with their families. Some people don't even have a family to go home to. The fact that I do have a family, a warm place to sleep, safety and people who love me makes me a lucky girl. There is nothing more I need this Christmas.
I hope everyone reading this takes a moment to appreciate their family and friends and the simple things that we sometimes take for granted. It's important. Be appreciative of your job, your health, friends and (if you're like me) it could simply be a warm cup of coffee that some people won't have this Christmas. That's the overall message I hope to send to you today.
This year I'm being sure to spend Christmas with everyone I love! I am in Minneapolis for Christmas Eve and Ohio Christmas Day. Safe travels to anyone else flying and have a wonderful holiday!
This wasn't the only time I have felt lonely. I would say that one of the hardest parts of my job (and most models will agree) is feeling lonely. When you're moving around so much, it's hard to even know what a stable home feels like. I call hotels my "home". And just as fast as I make new and close friends, I know I have to say good-bye to them for an indefinite amount of time. While it is a fantastic job to get paid to travel and stay at some of the most beautiful places on earth, the beauty of those places is slightly diminished without someone to share those memories with. Lets face it, having a glass of wine and watching a spectacular sunset isn't the same when you're doing it all by yourself repeatedly! Sharing it on Facebook helps, sure. But still, at the end of the day, I know I am lucky to have a fun and amazing job and I am in no way complaining about my sacrifices I make for it. I wouldn't do this if I didn't think the rewards would outweigh the sacrifices.
Even though I was lonely on Christmas Eve last year, a situation occurred that morning which suddenly made me stop feeling so bad for myself. There was a homeless man sitting on the cold sidewalk outside my NY apartment who was holding a sign that said "Alone and have no family. Cold and hungry." It was almost like a sign (no pun intended) meant for me to see. It was a humbling moment for me. I was fully experiencing the alone part , but at least I did have a family and I definitely wasn't cold and hungry! I couldn't fix the "alone" part for him, but could help with the "cold and hungry" part and bought him hot breakfast and coffee immediately. Then I thought of the hundreds of other homeless people that were like him. That very moment I stopped feeling bad for myself. This was when I realized I should spend my Christmas Eve helping the less fortunate.
I am humbled by many others who have felt a greater amount of loneliness and sacrifice around the holidays- specifically those who have served our country and couldn't be home with their families. Some people don't even have a family to go home to. The fact that I do have a family, a warm place to sleep, safety and people who love me makes me a lucky girl. There is nothing more I need this Christmas.
I hope everyone reading this takes a moment to appreciate their family and friends and the simple things that we sometimes take for granted. It's important. Be appreciative of your job, your health, friends and (if you're like me) it could simply be a warm cup of coffee that some people won't have this Christmas. That's the overall message I hope to send to you today.
This year I'm being sure to spend Christmas with everyone I love! I am in Minneapolis for Christmas Eve and Ohio Christmas Day. Safe travels to anyone else flying and have a wonderful holiday!
That was speechless and very touching. hope you have a good Christmas break with family and friends. take care Chris henriott
ReplyDeleteI know that exact feeling.
ReplyDeleteLast year I had to spend my birthday working in Paris, not knowing a sole soul in the city. I tried to do the touristy things, but it's rather depressing when you're the only single person at the top of the Eiffel Tower. Then, to make matters worse, I did a Seine dinner cruise afterwards, and I thought they would just give me a seat at a table with other people. I wouldn't know any of them, we might not even speak the same language, but at least I'd get to interact with people and enjoy the tour. NOPE! The ship was empty enough that night that they gave me me own table. Nothing like staring out a window eating stinky cheese alone on your birthday.
Thankfully I'm home for Christmas and my entire family is in town. We're doing the Project Elf thing where you build bicycles for kids.
Chris and Fred, thank you for the comments!
ReplyDeleteFred, thanks for sharing the story. I think experiencing a holiday or birthday away from your family can really make you appreciate them when you get home! I don't think I would ever want to do it again if I can help it! Awesome move building the bikes for the kids... that will be a rewarding way to spend the Holiday.
Cheers!